she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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