I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
