smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
