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either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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