I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
