I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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