yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.