Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.