nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.