at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
