So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
