Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
