I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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