I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
