I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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