porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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