I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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