we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize