So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
