she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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