Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
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i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
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They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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