I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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