Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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