I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
