dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
