I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
