4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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