Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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