Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
