Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
