Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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