Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
