K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
