Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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