He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
