would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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