i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
