One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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