You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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