u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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