BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
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Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
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Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.