yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.