Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex

(949): View more from California

How do you have pretend sex?

(805): View more from California

It was bad...so it was pretend

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(209): View more from California

Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....

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(530): View more from California

There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......

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(609): View more from New Jersey

My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.

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(716): View more from New York

I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.

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