Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out. http://tfl.nu/g42w
  Replies (38) Good night (740) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it? (206): only if you didn't want to fuck up your life. http://tfl.nu/bqd4
  Replies (72) Good night (951) Bad night (8905)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers http://tfl.nu/y866
  Replies (51) Good night (7010) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird. http://tfl.nu/49lo
  Replies (20) Good night (7757) Bad night (2097)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

  (347): View more from New York

  Something to remember me by.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet. (347): Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/ual5
  Replies (6) Good night (2594) Bad night (1931)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again. http://tfl.nu/9aen
  Replies (10) Good night (3626) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged. http://tfl.nu/etq6
  Replies (7) Good night (2864) Bad night (1419)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka. (443): do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob? http://tfl.nu/qeeu
  Replies (18) Good night (4853) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face. http://tfl.nu/gmb1
  Replies (5) Good night (1017) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  "drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): "drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again.. http://tfl.nu/1sfp
  Replies (4) Good night (1306) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable http://tfl.nu/z2xr
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Who is also still dressed up as a pirate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor (703): Who is also still dressed up as a pirate http://tfl.nu/yo9o
  Replies (5) Good night (434) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We will go to karaoke

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): We will go to karaoke (1-603): Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me http://tfl.nu/bhpl
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  All. The answer is always all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!? (1-202): All. The answer is always all http://tfl.nu/33z7
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself http://tfl.nu/l1mf
  Replies (4) Good night (356) Bad night (1327)

Randomize