Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.