so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize