i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"