Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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