Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
