How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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