very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize