i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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