Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
