nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
