I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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