You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Randomize
