Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???