Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You can't special order awesome

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  (404): You can't special order awesome http://tfl.nu/116h
  Replies (14) Good night (2986) Bad night (702)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm going to rape someone's good day.

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  (253): I'm going to rape someone's good day. http://tfl.nu/to10
  Replies (14) Good night (3817) Bad night (1306)
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  (518): View more from New York

  What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.

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  (518): What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store. http://tfl.nu/xk1d
  Replies (2) Good night (2384) Bad night (640)
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  (619): View more from California

  Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night

  (323): View more from California

  How mad was your dog?

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  (619): Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night (323): How mad was your dog? http://tfl.nu/x6ig
  Replies (12) Good night (4283) Bad night (910)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.

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  (412): Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets. http://tfl.nu/agl3
  Replies (48) Good night (1193) Bad night (4373)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'

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  (314): Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?' http://tfl.nu/xaro
  Replies (17) Good night (1161) Bad night (6414)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.

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  (505): Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you. http://tfl.nu/lhr4
  Replies (11) Good night (927) Bad night (2759)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.

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  (570): I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy. http://tfl.nu/0avy
  Replies (34) Good night (2786) Bad night (1613)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.

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  (+44): It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people. http://tfl.nu/mlxk
  Replies (6) Good night (3334) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating

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  (603): He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating http://tfl.nu/fvws
  Replies (10) Good night (3409) Bad night (1019)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you

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  (262): he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you http://tfl.nu/6gzr
  Replies (6) Good night (831) Bad night (2403)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?

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  (317): why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator? http://tfl.nu/5m0o
  Replies (10) Good night (3010) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.

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  (+44): You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4. http://tfl.nu/tyhh
  Replies (2) Good night (1988) Bad night (698)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.

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  (330): Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me. http://tfl.nu/h3wh
  Replies (3) Good night (1533) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.

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  (202): His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together. http://tfl.nu/je6r
  Replies (8) Good night (1558) Bad night (768)

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