***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
