every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
