just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
dude. I can hear the air.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
