Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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