Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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