Say something about gay babies.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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