is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
