Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
